A few weeks ago I lost almost 6 pounds in one week, it was the best feeling in the world and I felt unstoppable. I don’t know what is worse for me though, having a big loss or if I have a gain for the week. I have been reflecting on why I gained 2 pounds at my Tuesday weigh in and after some discussion in an online weight loss group I think I figured out why. It doesn’t always happen the same way all the time, and although I have been on this journey for over 5 months I am still learning. We should never get to a point when we think we have it all figured out. Always be teachable and listen to those who have gone before you. I think there are several reasons why I keep slipping up, convenience, feeling like I have “earned” a cheat meal, stress and being too confident in my weight-loss success. Sometimes I set myself up to fail because I don’t pay attention to the things that cause me to want to eat. A friend who has lost a significant amount of weight had mentioned food triggers (thank you Jalita).
I am 12 weeks away from my big deadline of losing 150 pounds by my sister wedding in October. So far I have lost 88 pounds, but sometimes I wonder how much more I would have lost if I would have stuck to my plan or paid attention to my “food triggers”. The week that I lost 6 pounds, I decided it would be ok to go to a buffet, after all I have worked so hard (“earned” cheat meal). What??? I felt so strong and very confident that I could practice self-control. Oh my, what was I thinking? Do I need to go any further? I bet you can finish my sentence right? I ate one plate of salad, I was satisfied and I can now go to any buffet and not be tempted. Uhh No, that is someone else who doesn’t have a food addiction, let me tell you what really happened. I ate my salad and when I was done the rest of my family was still eating, I felt so out of place and decided I would get a sample of all the things that I wanted to eat (ribs, stuffing, 2 fried shrimp). I left feeling stuffed and wondering why I would sabotage myself.
The following weekend I went to a birthday party, I allowed myself to eat what was served and the plan was to NOT eat any cake. Every time I eat cake it makes sick, so can you guess what I did? I ate cake, ugh! It didn’t stop there, Monday (6-22) I received some terrible news regarding the playground project I am working on. At that point I didn’t care, I was failing in more than one area of my life and I felt a little hopeless. I stepped on the scale Tuesday July 23rd and I had gained exactly 2 pounds. I didn’t have to ask why, I already knew and I had no one to blame but me. Nicole, who weighs me every Tuesday at the Women’s Health Center wrote a note on my weeks weight. It read, “keep up the great work!”, keep up the great work? In my mind I was thinking, I gained what do you mean? She was looking at my journey with different eyes. She remembers the girl who was 309 pounds and was broken because of life’s struggles. She remembered how far I have come, and how much I have fought. It was so encouraging and instead of giving up, I continued the fight to save my life.
There are certain things that are out of my control, like birthday party’s and being so busy that I don’t have time to cook a healthy meal. The things I can control are portion sizes at the party, giving myself a different reward beside food when I lose big, making healthy on-the-go options and taking a jog when I am stressed instead of eating. Sometimes I can practice self control and other times I am anything but in control of my life. I know the things that cause me to over eat and make bad choices and its time to hold myself accountable. I am really trying to think before I eat, drink more water and get at least 30 min of exercise a day. I can pull the “convenience card” if I want to, but it’s not going to get me to where I want to be. I am on a journey to save my life, the only person I am hurting when I make bad choices is myself. Everyday I have pick up my cross, everyday I struggle but it’s my choice to live and today I choose life!
What are your triggers? Leave a comment below and don’t forget to share my blog with others.
Here is a helpful video to a friends Vblog, she has all kinds of tips and I really enjoy her honesty and willingness to help those of us who struggle with food addiction. This video talks about “triggers”. http://youtu.be/RyeH9OSgCMA