I usually try not to let the things people say bother me because I know everyone is fighting a hard battle. I usually try and turn the other cheek because I spent too many years having an eye for an eye attitude. I am writing this not to expose the hurtfulness of the human race, but to give encouragement to those facing the same struggles.
When I was morbidity obese, people would make fun of or stare because I do not fit their ideal of how a woman was supposed to look. I struggled with who I was as a person because I constantly felt the glares of those wondering how I got to the state I was in, or so I thought. I have struggled with insecurity my entire life and since losing 162 pounds I have gained so much confidence. It wasn’t until this weekend that I realized no matter what my size people will always find something wrong about me, as long as they are looking. Not knowing my story they will spew venous words as though it were the norm.
Losing weight is no easy task, it was a constant struggle and it took everything in me to reach my goal. Only those closest to me fully understood just how hard it was. Being overweight for so long left me with loose skin all over my entire body. Some days I look at myself and I am upset at what I did. How could I do this to my body and why did I let it go on for so long? Other days I see my loose skin as battle wounds, something to be proud of and I hold my head high with pride. Making my journey public I have the opportunity to help others while helping myself. I receive messages all the time from those who have followed my story and it encourages me to keep sharing.
So why should I let the words of one person skew the way I feel about such a life changing event? The answer is, I’m not. I am proud of who I am and how much I have overcome in my life. If I am held by the things I have done in my past, then so is the whole world. I was reminded that I have nothing to do with why someone chooses to be harsh. I was reminded that for every mean word spoken that 100 nice words will follow.
So today I will expose my insecurities and hopefully bring light to the struggles we face just by existing. It’s never really about you, some people have a hard time with moving on from the things that have hurt them in the past. Take pride in knowing you are strong and are taking control of your life. Know that no matter how hard you try to please everyone, someone will always feel left out. Sometimes your best isn’t good enough, you just got to keep being you. Mother Teresa was such a wise woman and although I will never be her I can surely strive. She wrote,
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway”
With that being said, here is a picture of my arms. The rest of my body I can cover, but my arms I have a hard time unless I wear long sleeves. Clothes don’t fit properly and I sometimes have to buy bigger just so things fit. I constantly catch people staring at them and really I don’t blame them. But I have never heard anyone openly make fun of or say something about them until recently. There is a first time for everything, right? This is to all my hard work, for every pound that I worked off, every burger I did not eat, and every good choice I made.
I am proud of me!