One of my Facebook friends was legitimately curious about why people get irritated with starting Christmas so soon. As I sat down to write out my reasoning the response was more of a blog post than a comment on a facebook status. Since I don’t like to waste opportunities, below is my explanation and a few gift ideas that won’t break the bank during Christmas. I want to be very clear, I don’t hate Christmas, I really don’t. I enjoy it all, the sights, sounds, smells, traditions, and spending time with my family. Growing up we didn’t have a lot, my mom would try her best to buy things we really couldn’t afford for a day that was supposed to be spent celebrating Christ. I don’t know if any of my other siblings caught on to how stressed out it made her but I did. My mom was never the type to keep up with the Joneses and neither am I but there is something about Christmas that makes you want to spend money you don’t really have.
There was this one year though, I wished for a dust buster to make my mom life a little easier. I could pull out that handheld device and follow behind my then two-year-old very active little boy instead of pulling out the vacuum cleaner.
It was going to change my life!!
Then…
December 7, 2007 my tiny, sweet & innocent almost 4-month-old baby boy was diagnosed with stage 4 Neuroblastoma(cancer). I remember the nurses forcing John and me out of the hospital to grab a bite to eat and process the new information. I sat at a nearby Applebee’s just sobbing, I would go to take a bite and sob! And just at the perfect time, Mariah Carey’s famous, “All I want for Christmas is you”, started to play in the background and I blurted out, I don’t want that stupid dustbuster, I don’t want it! All I want is my son to be ok, I don’t care about shopping for presents, I don’t care about traditions, all I want is my son to live! Cancer really puts life into perspective as John and I thought we would go Christmas shopping after Isaac’s appointments that day. It was unheard of that a baby would have cancer so we thought we would kill two birds with one stone. Our eyes were open to both the love and hurt that life can bring, even though I had experienced a lot of life, I had never known the pain of watching your child suffer. That year we got to experience just how truly generous people are around Christmas time during a tragedy.
As I grew in motherhood with 5 children, one with special needs, some years Christmas became too overwhelming. Life began to happen and it became harder and harder for me to get into societies version of the “Christmas Spirit”. I guess that’s what I want to make clear, my version of Christmas and yours are two different things. When I think of the holidays, I remember the organizations that helped my family and the people who gathered together to make sure that our Christmas was a little brighter. Although my love language is not gifts, the act of kindness towards my family made my heart super happy.
Looking back on my childhood, the gifts we received were things that we needed, clothes, socks, underwear and our obligatory Christmas Eve PJ’s. In addition, we made tamales, a big pot of beans, rice and baked cookies. I carried these traditions into my own family, when my kids were smaller, I started a Christmas Cookie Decorating contest, it was a way they could help as I didn’t have the patience to have them help.
Here we are 2019 and we still see people the most generous, grateful and kind this time of year. The famous 30 days of gratefulness starts in November, charitable giving is at its peak and kindness is everywhere, then come January it’s back to the way it was. Giving is not as much, complaining is through the roof and kindness is out the window. People wait for a tragedy to donate blood, unite as a country or show kindness because they are too stressed out in their lives to think about anyone but themselves. Hey, I’m guilty of this too, but I realized through the tragedies of my life that “Need knows no season”. Over the years Christmas stuff has made its way into stores in October, with no “Christmas Spirit” attached, this is my observation and it certainly doesn’t apply to everyone. I think the “spirit of Christmas” is beautiful and should last 12 months out of the year not just during December. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be anyway? Helping those in need, loving your neighbor as yourself and giving thanks in all circumstances? What a beautiful gift to give year-round and not just as a “thing” you do during Christmas time.
I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade, decorate your house in September for all I care but while you are doing it remember that there are gifts that don’t cost a thing. Gratitude, kindness, and giving to the poor. The video below represents the spirit of gratitude, and something we should do every day. Waking up is a gift! Having clean drinking water is a gift, food, lights, cars, they are all gifts. Tomorrow isn’t promised, we all have choices to make in life and the same 24 hours in a day. I’ve wasted so much time focusing on the wrong things that with my new perspective I want to use my 24 hours wisely. I want to serve God, my family, friends, clients(getting people into their homes is my favorite!), organizations and my community.
There are real needs that people face every day, not just during the holiday season and I hope my explanation doesn’t upset but rather inspire. A cancer diagnosis, loss of a child, divorce, death of a loved on all happen 365 days out of the year. None of us are immune to tragedy and we are all one choice away from living on the streets, standing in the food bank line, or having our car repossessed. Long story short, I don’t hate Christmas, give to those in need, be grateful, and show kindness.
P.s.
I think I forgot to mention that I worked retail for 5 years, so I can only handle Christmas music in small doses. The same songs playing continuously for 5-8 hours a day 5 days a week will make anyone go crazy. Thank God for live streaming music!
AND, since I mentioned God, don’t forget that Jesus is the reason we celebrate this beautiful holiday!
Real Mom of 5 