The chaos that ensues in the waiting can give a distorted version of reality. On one hand I understand my purpose, I’m ready, willing & excited for the journey ahead. On the other hand, it’s. Well. Complicated. The timing seems wrong, questions have me wide awake at night as I desperately want to know how all the moving pieces will fit. Life continues & falls apart all at once. I question my sanity, am I doing the right thing? While dream killer’s doubt & fear whisper, “you’re going to fail”. Yet I continue to press in, taking another steps into the next dimension. Into the places that God would have my feet to walk, scared, anxious, yet expecting.
Expecting God to meet me in my humanness, exactly where I am.
I’ve been so consumed lately about needing to know details, that i’ve lost sight of being present. I want to feel each moment as I transition, reminding myself that as I let go, and sit in the waiting, God is there. (Psalm 139)
When I read the Psalms, I don’t feel so alone as David had some of the same fears, doubts, question, wondering. At times if seems as if he’s bipolar, questioning why, yet pleading his trust in the Lord by the end of the verse. When I read his writings I can feel his anger, and anxious thoughts while understand the peace he’s experiencing in the waiting. The love, trust and dedication to God gives him the faith to enduring the waiting. I believe the ancient recordings of failure’s, disappointments, callings, being ask to leave comforts, etc. are in the bible to give us hope when we face similar situations.
What happens in the waiting are the best parts, the destination, completion of a task or the finish line are the moments we celebrate. On lookers don’t understand what you endured in the waiting & they wonder, wishing they too could be strong enough, brave enough, bold enough to be where you are. Yet refuse the uncomfortable parts of the waiting when they receive their call. In the waiting we learn, grow in our faith, and make the small transitions in to who God created us to be.
If you are in the waiting, be encouraged. You’re in right the spot! You’re not crazy, or maybe you are. Be still, sit quiet, patiently filtering through all the noise.
Our good shepherd is calling.
”The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him”
2 Chronicles 16:9
God has been giving me nuggets of hope through the scriptures, songs and books.
Psalm 40
Psalm 27:14
The In-Between by Jeff Goins
Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter
Real Mom of 5 