Y’all know about the devastation of Isaac’s cancer & paralysis so I won’t go over those horrific details again. What you might not know is how financially strapped we really were. Social norms dissuade us from sharing our financial situations, after all it’s a “private matter.” Who wants to publicly announce they are having financial issues, anyway?
NO ONE!
The aftermath of having a child with cancer is likened to a tornado that has ransacked an entire town with only a remnant of once was. You are left to pick up all the rubble alone as those who helped carry you thus far believe the hard work is done. There are organizations & resources a mile long during treatment, yet the clean up crew in the end is just you. Our entire savings was spent trying to escape the memories of the physical location where Isaac was diagnosed. Our country as a whole was experiencing financial hardship but for us the load seemed extra heavy.
I was inspired to share my thoughts on our finances after re-reading Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod. I no longer feel shame for this particular situation or care if anyone judges where we were. My hope is that others are liberated & choose to overcome their circumstances by taking action as well.
You may be thinking, why the picture of the food bank card above?
Keep reading…
Cancer was not in our life plan, but I made a decision long ago that I would live life as if it was. When we first moved to Oregon I was dealing with extreme depression from the aftermath & my near death experience after childbirth. There was something that changed me on the inside when I began to think about someone else’s pain. After visiting the school Isaac would be attending I noticed the playground wasn’t wheelchair accessible. I began a quest after visualizing Isaac and kids like him watching their peers play. The thought of him sitting on the sidelines propelled me to act like a different person. What I wanted to do didn’t match my background, anything around me or anything I had done.
One foot in front of the other I began sharing my idea, each time I was rejected it was like fuel to find the people who wanted to help. That wasn’t always the case, I remember one day sitting in my car crying my eyes out because it felt like the dial wasn’t moving. In that moment the rejection was so thick I could hardly get a grip on myself. It didn’t help that our finances at the time was barley enough for our young family of seven. During winter months it was worse & I found myself in one of 2 food bank lines to supplement. It was the most humbling experiences, serving others and being served. All of a sudden a idea popped in my head, I thought, the more I sit here and cry, I’m missing out on opportunities to find the people who would want to help. The shame from needing help disappeared (not permanently, that’s another blog post),I became relentless, taking down anything in my path that didn’t match what I was trying to accomplish.
The aftermath of my purpose lead me to that particular time, and sits with me now as I share these words with you. The remnant of my purpose is to share hope from those dark places. I want to be on the clean up crew of your aftermath, helping pick up the peices by showing what the other side looks like with conscious effort to change. Realizing if there were no tragedy to gain clarity we would have no hope to share to others. All the set-backs & struggles prepared me for the Blue Slide Project and this moment. The hard places where I felt alone or rejected, were grips I held on to as I fell with each set back helping me climb back up. Finding meaning for my life by helping others changed my mind about humanity, what our minds are capable of, & what is possible.
You know the rest of the story, my community rallied behind me & in 4 months we raise $53k for the first phase & a year or so later raised another $100k. Building Grants Pass & Josephine County’s only wheelchair accessible playground.
If I can stand in a food bank line, while organizing events and bringing people together to build a playground with my background & struggling with depression. You, my friend can do anything you can hope or imagine. Mindset visualization, affirming & showing gratitude for how far you’ve come gives power to your dreams.
Find your purpose in the aftermath!
I’d love to hear from you, comment & share your story we can do this together.
Mona:)
Real Mom of 5 