“How can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land? For the Israelites, clinging to the memory of Jerusalem was all that was left, the good, the bad & the ugly. They hung up their harps in what seemed to be a protest as their captures demanded songs of joy(Psalm 137).
They wept instead.
By the rivers of Babylon, they wept.
I could feel the heaviness in this Psalm as I face my own captivity while remembering the places of prosperity, hope, despair & pain. The ease of my daily activities has slipped from my hands as I gaze at my promise while hanging up my harp. I ask the same question, how can I sing in this foreign land?
Heavy, so heavy. In the pit but not as deep, I question my position. I can’t be here, I can not forget my own Jerusalem. As I open my mouth to sing I am restrained by my surroundings, with nothing to grasp to I panic, as the promise fades.
I weep.
In this pit of despair, I weep.
Although the things I am facing are hard, my mind wants to create a pit for me as comfort. If I can escape the reality of my life I don’t have to face my deep feelings of sadness, I can hang up my harp, sit in disobedience, and have fellowship with the things that torment me. My hope is through sharing my raw feelings of hopelessness I can bring awareness to the very real bondage of our minds. Having lived through some very dark times, my mind often finds comfort in the pit.
It’s easier for me to fall into my comforts rather than push through the magnitude of what I perceive as loss. The same force that caused me to fall could be what picks me up depending on my thoughts. Never in my life would I think I would be where I am at this very moment because my thoughts were always on the mountain(or in Jerusalem). But in this foreign land? The mountain seems so far away and the promise is but a flicker. The snowball continues as I sit back and let the enemy rob me of joy and the testimony of God’s goodness.
That’s until I read Psalm 138
Summarized “I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart(1)…may they sing of the ways of the Lord, for the glory of the Lord is great(5)…Though I was in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life…with your right hand, you save me(7).”
The scriptures are so important to read, not only on the mountaintop but in the valley where our character & endurance are tested and we are to put into practice the things we learned up until this point. Hope in the valley is trusting the promise that was received on the mountain. God, give me the endurance to continue on my journey as I cling to hope and my promise. Clear my mind and align my thought with yours, to the God “who leads his people through the wilderness(psalm 136:16)” and remembers us in our “low estate(23)”. I WILL “give thanks to the God of the heavens, His love endures forever!(26)”
How can I sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign Land?
I sing to break the chains of the enemy, as I lift the Lord on high & give thanks he will strengthen & equip me for the journey. As the pain flows, in my deep despair He is binding my wounds through every song of praise I choose. Let me never forget the places you brought me from, let me never forget your love in this valley. Help me to remember your promises as I seek your face in this dry land. If I forget, “may my right hand forget its skill. May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy. (Psalm 137:5-6)”
At the end of the day, it’s a choice!
Growing up with a parent who struggled with mental illness and battling my own depression, I say this with love. I know it’s hard, but the choice to stay down is up to you.
Have your moment where you hang up your harp because the fact you didn’t send it down the river means you have a shimmer of hope. That is all that is needed to get to the other side.
This is but a season, don’t let the temporary captivity be the reality you speak.
Let’s get through this together!
Real Mom of 5 